≡ Menu

Eat the homeless: A modest proposal for Lakewood

The Panthers – the Panther Party of Washington and the Black Panther Party of Washington – are some of Lakewood’s unsung heroes. They are heavily involved in volunteering and charity work, and they campaign against injustice – whether it is homelessness, racism or environmental destruction.

The Panthers regularly make comments at Lakewood council meetings, either in person or through Zoom.

The July 18, 2022 meeting was a particular challenge. Those wanting to make public comments had to sit through 90 minutes of presentations.

These presentations covered topics such as tiny homes for the homeless and the provision of pro bono legal services for people in rental accommodation.

Yet 90 minutes was way too long, and I suspect that few people at the meeting had the attention span to fully follow the seemingly endless presentations.

Council member Patti Belle started eating during the presentations, and at one stage council member Linda Farmer shifted herself from a sitting to a standing position.

Yet another reason why Linda might want to shift from being a Lakewood council member to being Pierce County Auditor.

Fortunately Docere Pharmakis, Minister of Information of the Panther Party of Washington, was paying attention. On Zoom, all the way from Pullman, on the other side of the State.

He reminded us of Jonathan Swift’s 1729 essay, “A modest proposal”. It is a piece of satire, which suggested that one could cure poverty in Ireland by eating the poor, or at least their offspring:

Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant customers for infants flesh, besides others who might have it at merry meetings, particularly at weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand.

Docere Pharmakis didn’t advocate the eating of children. Just the homeless. This would kill two birds with one stone – you would get rid of the homeless and also provide a local source of meat, at a time of sky-rocketing prices. As he put it:

…we can simply slaughter them [the homeless] and put them on the shelves for consumption and feed the people in our communities…

However, if you’re worried about food prices, there is an alternative. French revolutionary Pierre-Gaspard Chaumette, in 1793, stated

Quand le peuple n’aura plus rien à manger, il mangera le riche.

In English,

When the people shall have no more to eat, they will eat the rich.

Bon appétit.

{ 0 comments… add one }

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.